Monday, 25 December 2017

Overpowering Expectations!

11.18 p.m. : trying to read news articles of the day.. but with intense anger in my head, it is rather too difficult to concentrate. The reason seems too silly- expectations from our loved ones..

 I don't usually get this emotional with my brother, with his priorities and his ways. I tend to always support him. Afterall, it is his growing years. I want him to explore life on his own. But then, the big sister attitude in me spills life-lectures  over him time and again. I don't think he ever listens to me carefully, let alone trying to understand the gyan. But anyways, I still want to support him, be it right or wrong,  I just want to stand by him always.

So today, I got upset over a very petty issue. In the evening when he came  home, he looked very tired and sad. I asked him about it to which he answered, "bahut thaka hua hu, nind aa rahi hai aur bahut bukh lagi hai.." (that is, I am very tired and sleepy and hungry).. I left all my work, went downstairs, made him delicious sandwiches and coffee.. and called him.. I thought he would be so happy, as he likes these things. But to my surprise, or not as it is his usual doing, he was still engaged in his phone while eating.. I was talking to him, but he was not. He just made  a gesture that he liked it, but then again, was very upset over something. He did not talk or showed any gratitude for the snacks I made. I jockingly asked him to atleast show some thankfulness.. But no! nothing at all.. I kept blabbering and he kept ignoring me. This made me very furious. I don't know why I could not contain my anger at that time. I came back to my room and got very very angry.

Then another thing happened which was not bad at all. My brother wanted a car and papa has just agreed to it. I should be happy because I was favoring him all this time. But no, something else overpowered me at that time. How My brother is always materialistic and emotion less and all.. I don't know but when they both went out of the room, I started crying. I remembered how everytime my brother ignores me and my mother. Mommy wants a jio sim for a very long time, but my brother doesn't have time for it. He has all the time to go pick a friend, to hang out with friends, to go shopping, to play cricket, to window-shop cars, to see stuff online and what not. He will wake up at 5 in the morning for his friends, but no, not for us. Are we nothing?
I may be getting angry and thinking all bad about him. But some things are true. We do get upset when he cannot help us out at one call, when he can do it for himself and his friends.. He take us for granted. Or might be, we have too much expectations.. I don't know what it is. It is hurting me now to think that he will not get up if I ask him to switch off the light, but if a friend calls him, he will go miles.. (P.S. Switching off a light and helping a friend are not even comparable. Its in my head to just feel bad for everything today!)

And about today, it was not that bad, but I made it look so bad. While my brother thought I was kidding about gratitude and all, and came to me later to ask me if I was upset over something. He explained to me how he himself was upset over some college thing at that time. But I could not control my anger. I blabbered very tough words to him which are not even true.. It hurt him badly.. Now we both are silent, though not in our heads..

He is only 20, and in his college.. Its not his fault.. How can I forget how he is "Yaaron ka yaar" which I love about him.. How his college life is amazing which I am so proud of. How happy I feel that he is doing what I had never done.. Amidst all this, sometimes, he might not be able to handle it all.. He might not balance family and friends all the time. He might get tired and expect us to leave him alone at times..
Knowing all this, why do I expect so much from him. Don't I know that he loves me a lot? Does he need to prove it every time? I make judgement so easily that I am ruining our pure brother-hood..

How nice would it have been if I had just ignored him. I could have maturely handled the situation and could have anticipated some other problem troubling him at that time. I could have given him some time.. but no, I stretched it too much.. Damage was now done..

The thing is, If he is not mature,  I should have acted mature.. After all the things I preach, I should practice them when in need..

While thinking about all this, I can totally get it how expectations overpower us.. ruin moments, and relationships.. Smaller things that don't even matter, make us so smaller in our thinking and behaviors..  I am not proud of my behavior today, and we are still not talking. Things will be all-right in some time, but it was not a good thing that I did today. Expectations overpowered me and ruined times that could have been so much better......

Monday, 18 December 2017

The room of requirement

Now that my harry potter craze is up and know no bounds, I think its the best time to jot down the best of harry potter series quotes. Before that, my heartiest gratitude to J.K. Rowling for these values I will cherish always. A big thank you ma'am :)

Now lets drown in the magical world 😍

1. Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.

2. Its our choices harry, that show us who we truly are, far more than our abilities.

3. Do not pity the dead, pity the living. And above all, those who live without love.

4. It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. Remember that.

5.  We all have got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's what we truly are.

6. It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be.

7. It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.

8. We must all face the choice between what is RIGHT and what is EASY.

9. Ofcourse it is happening inside your head Harry, but what on earth should that mean that it is not real?

10. After all, to the well organized mind, DEATH is but the next great adventure.

11. We are only as STRONG as we are united, as weak as we are divided.

12. If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.

13. Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open.

14. The truth, its a beautiful and terrible thing, and therefore should be treated with great caution.

15. The ones that love us, never really leave us. You can always find here <3.

16. There are more important things- Friendship and bravery.

17. When in doubt, go to library.

 18. What's coming will come, and we'll meet it when it does.

19. Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always in the way we expect.

20. Always :)

When I will get old, lying in my rocking chair and reading HARRY POTTER again, my grand children will ask me, "After all this time?" and I will say, "Always :)"

P.S. 1. The room of requirement in Harry Potter was one place which will give you everything you will ever need. Every hidden object is there, but only if you have eyes for them. It will show up when you deeply desire something. So these quotes are best suited to be in this room. They are now right before your eyes, just look deeper :)

P.S. 2. For muggles, room of requirement is nothing but a big store room with all the things haphazardly put. You never know, what you will come across. so, good luck :)

Tuesday, 28 November 2017

Why do I keep going back to Harry Potter?

The one obvious reason is fascination with magical world, HARRY POTTER himself and his friends, and how in the end, everything comes in favor of the good.

But the real reason occurred to me when I started reading the books. How everytime I had this urge to see it live happening. How I went into dreams while reading. Making a cup of tea for myself when Hagrid would make it for Harry Potter. Crazy but beautiful experience of getting involved so deeply into something.

And it was not in vain. The more I read and watched, the more I could understand the deeper meanings and hidden gems of advises by Albus Dumbledore. The innocence that would touch the heart directly, the friendship goals one could have reference to are just impeccable.

No doubt Harry Potter was the greatest wizard and the boy who lived and weakened Lord Voldemort. But then again, it was not magic that let him win over Voldemort always. It was love of his mother at the first place that saved her. Love, the power that shattered the greatest negative power known into innumerable pieces. In our muggle life as well, its love that keeps the clock of life going. It fills our heart with positive energy and happiness to conquer what may come.

Friendships, the power of three friends who stood for one another always. Harry would find his inner strength when his friends were in danger. With the simplest of charms, as Expelliarmus or stupefly, he would win the battle. Why, for the courage he had to stand for the good and for his friends.

And ofcourse, the patronus charm. The whole idea of keeping the dementors away with simple and pure happiest feeling of one's life. How a happy memory would defeat the negativity.

The power of concentration and focus that one requires to be a great wizard is also put so simply well. How in our lives, career and progress, all we need is discipline and concentration towards our goals.

The whole idea is, we need not be magicians and wizards, but we can still create magic in our lives with such beautiful lessons. The power of focus, love, friendship, goodness and happiness will always overpower the evil and the negativity. We can achieve whatever we want. Does not matter if we are rich or poor, gifted or hardworking, young or adult. With the right attitude, we can also be a Potters or a Granger or a weaseley. If you have it in your heart, you have it in your hands. 

A letter to my younger self

Dear me,

I have known you since I could understand things. When you probably were in 4th-5th standard. But then you were a kid, you cannot be questioned for your decisions then. Howsoever it was, I know you cherish it and that is great.
But lets prune into details since your 10th class, when you were about to make a career choice. How you fooled everyone with conviction that yes, you are a bright science student who will do very well in non-medical. While deep down you knew that you liked social studies more. You could have done great in Arts. But you convinced yourself into cattle herd and that's how your life changed, into an all new direction.

But you could not fool yourself for long. You know that you took this career decision out of peer-pressure. After all, all toppers used to go for science stream. Arts and commerce happens to be for lesser bright minds. How foolish you were then. It cost you atleast 9 years of your life. No doubt you got admission in a good college, then a decent job that made everyone so proud. But there need to have a stop. To just  think if it was all right? You were struggling between your interests and your obligations. The constant urge to prove yourself everytime, without enjoying the damn process. How badly you wanted to run out of your job but still was happy with the financial independence it came along with.

Its only when you embraced IAS studies by heart that you realized how much you loved studying Economy, polity, history and everything. It was then you could comprehend how bad physics was for you. Though the realization came, but it came very late. How more productive last 9 years could have been had it been another career lane.

Now what has happened has happened. You were not entirely to be blamed. The peer pressure was actually huge at that time. It overpowered your interests. A 10th class student cannot be expected to understand what lies ahead. I just wish you had better access to information then. Your decisions could have been wiser. But whatever happens, it happens for the best.

The rest of your life has got an important lesson to be followed. Its not always important to make everyone happy and proud of you. Things will automatically fall in place when you are happy and proud of yourself. Your mind and heart should know that you are doing it right. Rest you can leave upon karma. Its very important that we give ourselves equal importance. As I always say, do what your heart says. Make mistakes but own your mistakes. Don't let prejudices overpower you. Learn, earn and proceed. Dance, sing, play, travel, read or write. Just do it for yourself. You will know how beautifully your life will turn out to be..

Have a great life ahead. :) 

Monday, 27 November 2017

Life and regrets.. Choice is ours..

Regrets.. wrongdoings... The mental trauma everytime, saying, I wish I had done that, or I wish that day had not been there in my life. I wish I could be stronger then , I wish I would have studied more or I wish I had taken another career path or job or simply just another way..

There might be many "I wish" sentences in our lives but one thing is common, life is just one. We should be grateful that life happened to us in the most creative way, as a human being who can talk, who can think, who can change and who himself can be a change.. Still, regrets can make us sad, demotivated and what not!

The good part is, as we grow up and "mature", regrets become lesser in number (a sign of true maturity indeed). We become more sane in our decisions and more able to control our desires, tendencies and heart-flicks. When this happens, the importance of life becomes more clear, more valuable. This is when, my friend, life truly happens to us. When we give more importance to life, not regrets..

So the choice is ours. It always have been ours to keep regrets at bay. Don't give them a chance to ruin a single day of our one SINGLE life. As they say, its too short for regrets.. Mistakes are acceptable, but not regrets. We need to train our mind to run it the way we like. We should always do what we like, what we desire. Atleast we will be happy that its our own doing. It may not be right but its ours. And we ought to own it very proudly, without any regret. We must learn from it and move on.

We should never let regrets take too much space in our life. We can do all the new things or the old ones, take a  new path or the old one. Just make sure that our heart and mind are in sync to enjoy this beautiful life we possess..

Thursday, 30 March 2017

When your kids will be Robots..

Recently I came across two new scientific discoveries or research some may want to call it.
In the first, Human heart tissue was created using a spinach leaf. Amazed? May be not so amazing for sciene-maniacs, but yea, this research is an eye-opener. Without going into the "HOW" part, its good to understand the "WHY" part. As per the scientists, this can help in understanding heart better and can possibly open doors for curing several deadly cardio-vascular ailments, may be cloning the heart itself. That's a good news. Plus many other benefits but lets limit ourselves here.

In the second, Human kidneys were converted into bio-computers.. Well, yes they did!! And why? For possibly treating diseases by making kidney work as per outside instructions, just like a computer. We will be able to program our kidney to do as we say. For kidney failures, this might be a boon. But on a lighter note, will we be able to instruct our kidney to do shit as per our convenience? Like, no pressure at all??? We will time it as per the clean toilets-availability :D :D (This reminds me of Swachh Bharat Abhiyaan)

But coming back.. Science.. Science has come a long way.. from making our lives easier to luxurious to slaves.. That's what we are.. Slaves of Science. These discoveries make me wonder that my kids..NO.. Probably great-great-grand kids will be charging their hearts, kidneys etc with a charger like a phone.. May be there will be no phones, but they themselves will be sending signals directly.. Telepathy? You never know what science will create out of the box. So just wonder.. May be future kids won't need oxygen anymore.. No more trees.. and SAVE TREES slogans... Great na?

But will it be a life as we live and cherish today? What about Nature and the whole idea of living along with Nature? The future kids won't have the childhood that we had.. Forget future, this new generation kids are also jailed behind tablets and laptops today.. But still.. Slavery will return, just of another kind..

I am not against science, not at all.. After all, many of the researches are for good like for curing cancer and AIDS like diseases, getting disaster warnings before hand etc etc.. But still it makes me remember that old saying, "Too much of everythig is bad".. Afterall, these diseases are in a way a result of science (also known as lifestyle diseases) and these disasters which are getting intensified due to anthropogenic activities.. again lifestyle..again science... I may sound anti-science or anti-development.. But what about Nature? Better call me pro-nature, sounds nicer..

Besides, in all this, I have a point (not completely new though), but yes..there is one. Why in the first place we need such cures, break-through discoveries, sophisticated sensors and all? Why are we compelled to change Nature (leaf into a heart or body into a machine?) Science made us do that.. As now we are slaves, we ought to become machines..

But do we want to become machines or say Robots? Are'nt we fed up of charging our gadgets that now it will be our organs too? Nobody would want that..atleast majority.. (lets be democratic :D)

So who will save us? No doubt it's our very own NATURE :) Its big time that we become serious about changing our lifestyles.. Towards being more natural..being more Human that we actually are.. Lets not fall victim of those deadly diseases, disasters, machines, to name a few.. Better get our shoes and run! or walk! or anything! Just connect with Nature today and for as long as we can..

It took millions of years for life to evolve, lets just try to save it.. for our great-great-grand-kids, let us give them their Childhood atleast..

Save Nature, Save Yourself :)        

Wednesday, 1 March 2017

I see Peace ....

So much halla again.. Nationalism, Patriotism, feminism, war, peace and what not!

One DU student whose father died in Kargil war is expected to hate Pakistan and all Pakistanis. But no, she herself is demanding peace for she has learnt that it was the war, not a country.. What a beautiful and courageous message it is..

 That doesnot make her any less patriotic for India.. Not at all. But to see this, we must come out of our petty mentalities and be open about the issues that cripple our Nation..
Past cannot be changed but future can be written if we so wish..
Not commenting much on what's right and what's wrong, this message for me is Light in the world of darkness.. This is peace and I see Peace.. 

Monday, 27 February 2017

The Problem is: You have not failed!!

Story of an IAS aspirant....

For once you have tasted the soil of failure, you might have been more furious in your attempt.. Just a thought..
Many of all the people you are thinking about or getting the motivation dose from, have tasted it and hence, are working day and night to achieve their goal.. But unfortunately, you have not failed.. You know why? Because its your first attempt.. It could be for sure "First of many" because the zeal is missing.. The fire, that once let you leave everything behind, is clearly in ashes now..

But.. Do you want to get a failure to succeed? Why not looking at the people who did marvels in the very first attempt.. Everything will not come in beautiful trays to serve you hot.. They might even burn you if dont handle the advantage you have with care..

Yes.. the advantage.. For you have many many success stories.. The one timers, the two, three and some even four timers... And its upto you to write your own story!!

Sunday, 26 February 2017

Super Demotivated... What to to?

NO Seriously.. What really should you do when you are demotivated to a level so so low that its now out of your control to handle..
You seek advices from people, make calls or just sleep so that when you wake up, you might feel better and get back to work.. Still not working..
Read a a to your Dog.. try some dance..sing a song... Still NO?
All right, lets try wasting some more time until the self-motivation lecture starts drumming in your head.. Watch some crap on youtube because last time you made a promise that you will not watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S again as it distracts you..
Well.. May be last time it helped, not again..

You know, there always might not be a solution and you can keep running in the circle..
Because, its a circle with no end and before you know it, you are trapped!
Trapped. Ok. Now what?
Time is running is your life.. 25 today.. Not more than 5 years to turn 30 and cry about what must have been done in the last five years..last five GONE years..
Think about it?
The list is ready but not you. You are here sitting demotivated..

So.. Relax now. You have tried everything that you could have.. So just relax now. Shut the whole world and your eyes.. Now seriously think what's this time is for? Review the whole TO-DO list and think which one should me marked "DONE" first? Is it marriage, honeymoon? Travelling or studying? Getting settled first or your career first?

You have already made a choice a year back. Its not like that you cannot go back and reshuffle your choices.You Can, you absolutely can. But before that, think about it again. What do you really want at this moment of time which cannot wait another year.
That's it. This is what you want.
NOW you can keep sitting idle, lazy and sad for some more time..kill it.. Or else mark it off this unromantic time and grab your shoes, pick yourself up and get back to work! Your dreams are yours..your list is yours..

Remember, If you don't care, nobody else would..